don't blame the tool

a letter about a bottle I bought and all the lessons it taught me.

Dear You,

Last year, I wanted to drink more water. I felt super confident because the year before [2022], I had built a system that made it possible for me to do this. But for some reason, I broke the system because I wanted this beautiful flat bottle that could fit into my bags and had a bedside stand. So, while waiting for the bottle to be delivered, which took almost a month, I stopped following my 2022 system. I waited patiently for the bottle because I believed this bottle would change everything.

For context, I bought the bottle hoping to drink more water because I truly believed, for some reason, that this bottle was the key! Well... I drank wayyyyyyyy less water than I planned to. I broke my system, and let's say it wasn't practical for me to put so much pressure on the bottle and outsource my willpower to the bottle.

We all do this in different ways! I am the queen of finding tools to make my life easier. I love tools. I have shared tools here and even written a book on helpful digital tools for you. But my biggest lesson is that the tools don't work unless you do. To phrase this differently- the tools only work if you do. A spoon is useless until you use it.

We need to stop putting responsibility on other things, tools, algorithms, etc. and take responsibility for our goals. We need to take action to turn those goals into reality. Just take responsibility and create systems. If your alarm rings and you don't wake up, the alarm has done its job. In my case, the bottle did its job, but I didn't do mine.

As you go about the year, and as January gradually comes to an end, aim to build sustainable habits; here's how. Most importantly, please decide to show up, and show up. Tools won't help you, if you don't help yourself. Help the tool help you. Do your part.

In what ways are you going to show up for yourself? Tell me in the comments.

With Love,

Blessing Abeng