building sustainable habits
a letter on building sustainable habits that become systems that last and make your life better.
Dear You,
Have you noticed that the gyms are always packed every January, and by June, they become empty? Every new year, especially in January, most people go to the gym, chase their goals, and make resolutions to change, and there's this burst of energy in the air. I have no judgment at all; I understand the feeling.
My favourite thing about new years, new months, and even new days is the "reset" opportunities they bring. The newness brings hope, and that hope leads us to "want to form new and good habits". We feel "the new year energy", and that is often followed by the temptation to build 1000 habits at once that we may not be capable of sustaining, but here's how I have successfully built sustainable habits in the past:
pick 1-3 things: Choose 1-3 things you want to focus on per month and do it in increments. Don't drink 2 litres of water at a go; do it gradually. Don't exercise for 3 hours straight. Consider 15-30mins batches. For example, I am not deleting 10,000 pictures in one day from my phone; I am deleting 100 per day. I am not drinking 2ltrs of water at a go; I am using my 250ml mug to drink water, tea, or some liquid I like at intervals during the day.
do it in ways you enjoy: Don't force yourself to do things the way everyone does. If you want to exercise more and like dancing, dance can become your form of exercise. If you want to drink more water and you like fresh orange juice, tea, infused water, or pepper soup, drink that. Find an equally healthy alternative that you enjoy to help you build the habit.
reduce the barriers to procrastination: Make it easier to do what you have said you would do. Keep the book beside your bed. Put things where they are easy to reach. Create an environment that makes it easier for you to do what you want to do.
consider replacing bad habits with alternate habits: In AA sessions, people are often encouraged to replace the habits they want to change, e.g. drinking, smoking, etc. with new habits, drinking water, chewing gum, etc. This works in other aspects, too. If you are like me, who has a lot of pictures on your phone, you can challenge yourself that for every photo you take, you must delete ten. Every time you buy a new clothing, you must let go of one. Create a system that ensures that when you take an action, another action is triggered.
reward yourself: every time you get it right, do something nice for yourself. By rewarding yourself, you train yourself to attach a positive emotion to that act.
For example, in 2022, I wanted to drink more water this year. So, I had a 250ml mug I really liked right beside my bed every morning with a bottle of water. Every morning when I wake up, it's right there, beside my bed. I just had to drink it. I also gradually sipped another mug of infused water or tea while journaling, reading a book, or catching up on emails. Then I would drink a mug of orange juice (which is water in itself) and then take another three mugs between work, one mug when I eat and one or two more mugs before I sleep. If I succeed, I reward myself. If not, we go again tomorrow. No pressure. Just gradual steps in ways I enjoy. Next week, I'll tell you about how I messed this up in 2023 and how I am fixing it in 2024.
Many of the things we make resolutions for can be fixed by creating systems and building new and sustainable habits. So, in summary, if you want to develop sustainable habits, pick at most three things you want to focus on per month and do it in increments and ways you enjoy. Also, reduce the barriers to procrastination and explore the habit replacement technique.
What sustainable habits do you want to build this year? Tell me.
With Love,
Blessing Abeng