navigating adult friendships
Dear You,
I spoke with one of my friends whom I have known for a decade (my bae) about adult friendships and how building a solid circle of friends has impacted my growth personally and professionally. Somehow, as I spoke on this podcast [8:05 mins into the podcast], he asked me about friendships, and I vulnerably shared how 2020 was a challenging year for me friendship-wise. You should listen to it here.
The toughness pushed me to reflect, and I realised that conversations and communication play a huge role in building and maintaining friendships. Conversations and willingness to have them are crucial in relationships. Mutual respect and meaningful discussions with friends can shape our relationships. In addition, synergy plays a significant role in forming and keeping friendships and understanding and respecting each other's boundaries and differences. I have found that communicating is one of the most challenging parts of navigating friendships, but these are seven aspects you can pay attention to as you communicate:
The words you use
Your actions and body language
Understanding the context based on your friend's patterns and track record
Viewing from your friend's perspective and putting yourself in their shoes
Interacting and sharing your perspective from a place of empathy
Realising that it is not always about you
Listening patiently to listen, not just respond
Healthy friendships require a constant dance between selfishness and selflessness - knowing when to look out for yourself and when to look out for your friend. The willingness to give and receive value is super important. It's helpful to reflect and ask yourself: how can we help each other grow? How can I be there for my friends in a way that they need me that contributes to them personally and in their career?
I speak about all these and more on the Grinders Table podcast.
Please listen and tell me what stood out for you. You can also share some friendship lessons you have learned in the comment section.
With Love,
Blessing Abeng
This is not our usual topic here, but at the end of the day friendships are crucial to growth, and our focus here is growth. That's why I shared this here.