dear Blessing, do I really have any value to offer? - Issue #14

Dear you,

I often share intimate stories with my community in my personal newsletter series. It's always touching to see the raw emotions and personal questions people ask me when they reply to these emails. For example, in one of my emails, I shared that everyone is human and within reach. It is possible for us to meet anyone we want, even the queen. But the question is - are you prepared to meet that person? What would you offer them? How would you make an impression? 

One of the striking questions I received this week in reply to that email was:

"Dear Blessing, 

Most times, when I think of value, it overwhelms me because I start to think about what exactly can I offer that has not already been given? What exactly is new now about what I can do? Do I really have any value to offer?"

This is such a valid question, and here's what I think.

As you build your skills to increase your capacity to offer value to people, don’t forget that you are valuable as you are already. So you can give value right now.

Don’t overthink it

You already have value. Value could be a question, value could be a story of how they impacted your life, value could be “hi, in preparation for this event, I researched about you (maybe you watched plenty of interviews), and I found out your favourite yellow mug broke, so here’s one I made for you, or I heard you say you needed a tailor during your talk these are a few people who can help, I’ll send an email”.

All these are valuable.

You are enough, but you can be more.

You are worthy of meeting anyone you please. We are all just human beings. But to discover what you can give, you need to first listen, research and be attentive. Everyone has needs. Those needs range from sentimental to financial. You can perceive what they need if you listen when they talk and share (thank God for social media).

E.g. I used to have a friend who played an artiste song every day for a whole month until all her tribe started playing the song, and it got him more streams.

Sometimes it’s an introduction, acknowledgement of their work, proof that you’ve known them for a while.

E.g. one time, I wrote to someone and referred to particular things he had documented. I was super specific, highlighting paragraphs and asking specific questions. 

You want to show that you’ve consumed their content so much that you don’t ask repetitive questions. Do your research. Sometimes you don’t have to meet people physically for them to impact your life. 

Asking yourself why you want to meet people and being honest about your response to yourself helps you figure out the best approach.

I have gifted things that cost less than 5k but meant the world to the people I gave them. Sometimes they ask directly. You just have to listen. E.g. if someone says I’m craving xxx, send it to them with a thoughtful note.

The moral of the story is:

LISTEN (to what is said and unsaid). You'll find the value. 

To truly make an impact, learn to give first. And to give in a way that is impactful, you need to first LISTEN.

If you are thinking of value beyond meeting someone, and more in terms of impacting the world, you might love this free resource - Value Discovery Workbook. Get it and tell me if it helped you. 

With Love,

Blessing Abeng.