better than you think

the end of the year often comes with reflection, baggage, regrets, but this one doesn't have to. Let me tell you my story hashtag.

Dear you,

I just had a vulnerable Eureka moment.

This week, I felt like 2023 wasn't great. I didn't want to look back at my year because I was scared I would hate what I saw. I was mostly tired at the end of this year, which is ironic because I said here that I wanted to rest this year, but I didn't. I only indeed rested for a month. I did many speaking engagements, travelled a WHOLE lot for work, and was part of mentoring programs, so much so that the year turned out really busy. So, I ended up tired. And it made me a bit worried to look back. I looked at my goals from last year, and I only crossed off two out of five. If I should score myself in mathematics, that's 40%.

I picked up my phone today, clicked library, picked "years", and selected 2023. I scrolled through the memories, and wow! Some things I accomplished were not in my plans or goals at the beginning of the year, and I probably didn't see them coming. I did so much this year that it was difficult to keep track.

• The UN invited me to speak at the University of Capetown for International Women's Day [I didn't go because SA refused to respond to my visa application until now, but it felt good to be invited].

• I was chosen as a UN Women's Delegate.

• I became a Forbes 30 Under 30 honoree.

• I premiered a documentary I produced and screened it in partnership with the US Consulate in Nigeria.

• I passed on the baton at Ingressive for Good after securing global partnerships and training over 130,000 people and a community of almost 300,000, 

• I gave my first TED Talk, and it was terrific.

• I had so many TV appearances and was a big part of a business show on Channels TV for seven weeks.

• I represented Nigeria at The Hague to speak on Youth, Migration, and Policy [shout out to Tomi for naming my name in a room I was not in]

• I trained so many people and mentored women with SLA and WIMBIZ.

• I travelled to almost ten cities this year, made new friends, and deepened bonds with old ones.

• I got to work on a project with one of my industry's most influential global thought leaders.

• Became part of the advisory board of two influential committees.

• I wrote over 30 letters [even if I planned to write 40 or even 50].

• I grew on social - LinkedIn for example, I started this year with 8915 followers and today it's 17,200. I had 3001 subscribers to this newsletter [ was 0 on January 1, 2022] and today it's 9015. I have consistency [even though I wasn't that consistent] to thank for this because I showed up the most here above all other social platforms. On Twitter I started the year with 18,800 followers and was verified, ended the year with 21,600 and unverified [because Elon took it away when he was trying to push people to be premium]. On Instagram, I started the year with 32,200 followers and ended with 37,300. It's where I showed up the least. A sweet reminder that consistency is pivotal to growth.

• Here on Substack we grew to over 800 subscribers.

So much happened, and believe me, these are just about 30% of everything. I would not have remembered if I hadn't looked at my win journal; that's why I keep one. I looked through my phone and realized something I have always known: my brain is not reliable, and our minds tend to focus on the negative things - the things that do not work. I have even written about it before at about this time last year when I was writing about the FIFA World Cup. It was this article where I spoke about being in the moment so your ambition doesn't rob you or diminish your wins. I almost fell into that trap, but I caught myself just now. And this moment of looking back helped me see how much I didn't plan for, but they were wins. I almost didn't acknowledge these wins because they weren't part of my plans, and I even realized I may not be alone in this.

Please take a moment to reflect. Look at your photos, emails, journal, and texts, and see how much you won, the things you overcame, the things that didn't destroy you, the feats you achieved and be kinder to yourself. It was better than you think. You are notable for being here in this moment, holding your head up high and facing this year like a champ. If anything, you survived, but I am sure you did more than survive. Just give yourself a little grace and celebrate yourself.

You are awesome! You did fabulous this year. We go again in 2024.

Brag in the comments about one thing you did this year that you are proud of or one thing you overcame this year. Let's do it!

With Love,

Blessing Abeng